Is Heaven Real......

I've debated with myself for a while now, should I write about this should I not.

I watched the movie 90 minutes in Heaven and it triggered something off in me as I could resonate with what the guy was saying.

11 months later after his car accident and being quite dispondant he confided in a friend and said that he saw heaven when he was in his accident. He was a Christian man and committed to the church and had big aspirations about setting up churches, but the accident had caused him to lose faith, why would his God of allowed this to happen.

He felt lost and didn't know what his purpose now was!

Last year when I was seriously ill with covid and in ICU, did I see heaven... I quite possibly did, I was close a few times and remember being in and out of consciousness and just seeing brilliant white light, having no pain and thinking I wasn't struggling to breathe and feeling light. Seeing nurses and doctors round me putting needles in my arms and wrists and not being aware of any pain of the needles. I had no concept of time.

At some point the following day I had an ICU consultant come to the ward at and tell me that it was now time to be taken to ICU, and in going there, there was a possibility I wouldn't be back! My reply was I will stay here thanks, but in all seriousness another lovely lady from ICU came and talked me through everything and off I went to ICU.

That night I remember being on one of the CPAP machines and felt I could finally get a rhythm going with my breathing, I meditated, I think I did anyway , again aware of a brilliant white light but this time I was aware of all the people I knew that were sending me healing.

I don't know what all happened in that time as 7 hours or more had passed and just remember a nurse and a doctor bringing me round in the early hours of the morning.

Whether I saw heaven I don't know. But like the guy in the movie, I know something shifted inside of me. I felt for a long time I was an observer watching everything, and that people were transparent I could see through the crap, then I tried to switch it off and ignore it, but I also like the guy felt lost, who was I , what was my purpose? Even sometimes wondering why I was still here dealing with all the other crap life throws at you.

It wasn't until the nurses when heading finally back to the ward were shocked, but pleased I had made it and happy to see me, it dawned on me how close to the pearly gates I had been. Consultants down the line looking at the xrays of my lungs and looking back at me wondering how I was sat in front of them.

This is not a woe is me blog, as 14 months on I am much better still some small issues but nothing in comparison to others I see with long covid.

This is about talking about the uncomfortable, the guy in the movie said he never spoke about his experience as he didn't think people would believe him! That really struck a cord in me!

The way I feel the now is as if my whole body and soul has been shook up and tossed in the air and is still finding its way to settle back down if that makes sense as its the best way I can describe it.

I am sharing my experience because I know I am not the only one to have had that kind of experience, I also haven't really shared or spoken about it and maybe, just maybe it's time we do.

We truly never do know what anyone is dealing with ❤️

Much love Heather xXx